May has a way of loosening things. The light stretches, the air softens, and the world feels a little less compressed. It’s the kind of month that reminds you that you don’t have to move through your days clenched or braced. There’s room to breathe again, even if you haven’t felt that in a while.
It’s also the month when many people realize they’ve been more tightly wound than they meant to be, the kind of feeling you only notice when it finally lets go and you wonder how long it’s been like that.
Nature models this well. It grows without gripping. It expands without forcing. It trusts its own timing. Meanwhile, many of us are trying to manage every detail, anticipate every outcome, and hold everything together with a level of tension that would make a bridge cable nervous. It’s a lot to carry, especially when you’ve been carrying it for a long time.
“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” – Jimmy Dean
It is a strong reminder that your energy belongs where your influence lives. Here’s what this looks like in real life.
WHEN YOU’RE CARRYING MORE THAN YOU MEANT TO
A former client of mine comes to mind. She was a mom and a wife, and she also held a significant leadership role at work. These weren’t just titles. They came with expectations, emotional labor, and a steady stream of people who needed something from her. She cared deeply about all of it, and she wanted to show up well. But the more she tried to keep every part of her life running smoothly, the tighter her grip became. She was the person everyone relied on, which sounds flattering until you realize it often means you’re the unofficial safety net for everything. And safety nets rarely net PTO.
She started letting go of the things that used to refill her. Her creative projects sat untouched. Movement fell away. She tried to protect her weekends, but even when she felt drained, she was still there for her family, still showing up, still trying to be everything to everyone. And underneath it all was guilt. Guilt for being tired. Guilt for wanting space. Guilt for saying no, even when she knew she needed to. If guilt had a loyalty program, she’d have earned platinum status.
What she didn’t realize at first was how much she was trying to control things that were never hers to manage. Other people’s reactions. Future problems that hadn’t happened. Expectations she’d absorbed without noticing. When you’re stretched thin, gripping harder feels like the only way to keep things from falling apart.
But loosening your grip isn’t the same as letting go of what matters. It’s choosing where your energy goes. It’s trusting yourself enough to stop managing what’s outside your reach.
Here are a few places to look this month.
WHERE ARE YOU BRACING WITHOUT REALIZING IT?
Most people have one area where they’re holding on too tightly. A conversation they keep replaying. A responsibility they never questioned. A fear that keeps them on alert. Naming it helps you see where your energy is getting pulled. It also helps you notice the places where you’ve been operating on autopilot, which is useful for routines but less helpful for emotional wellbeing.
WHAT IS ACTUALLY YOURS TO HOLD?
Your sphere of influence is the space where your actions genuinely make a difference. It includes your choices, your behavior, your communication, and the way you show up. Outside of that are things you can influence but not control, and beyond that are things that are completely out of your hands. When those lines blur, everything gets heavier. When they become clear, you can loosen your grip without losing your footing. It’s like realizing half the things in your mental backpack don’t even belong to you. And of course, the heaviest ones aren’t yours.
WHAT OPENS UP WHEN YOU SOFTEN YOUR GRIP?
This is where the shift happens. When you loosen even a little, you often find more creativity, more patience, more emotional bandwidth, and more access to the part of yourself that has been buried under responsibility. You start to feel like yourself again. It’s amazing how many parts of ourselves end up in long‑term storage without our consent.
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. – Tao Te Ching
Loosening isn’t weakness. It’s clarity.
Maybe it’s one small boundary. Maybe it’s asking for help. Maybe it’s letting something be imperfect. Maybe it’s giving yourself the kind of rest that comes from listening to your body instead of pushing past it. Rest isn’t earned. It’s part of staying connected to yourself. And if your version of rest looks like staring at a wall for ten minutes, that counts. Some walls are surprisingly therapeutic.
Sometimes the thing you’re gripping the hardest is the thing that needs the most room to breathe. When you stop holding everything so tightly, you create space for new ideas, new energy, and new ways of moving through your days. And none of them require you to become a whole new person by Monday.
As you move through May, let it be a month of softening. A month of choosing what’s yours to carry and setting down what’s not. A month of trusting that loosening your grip can open more than it closes.
If you’re ready to sort through what you’re holding and find a rhythm that feels steadier and more aligned, you’re welcome to book a free, no-obligation discovery call. It’s a simple way for us to talk through what’s coming up for you and see what next step feels right.
Wishing you a May that brings more ease, more clarity, and a little more room to breathe.
~ With a little more space, 🍃
Holly
Holly Steinhoff, CPC, ELI‑MP, CICP
Founder & CEO
If you are ready to sort through what is yours to hold and what is not, reach out and we will take the next step together.
